


Anders and the Box

by Anonymous



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Anders (Dragon Age) Positive, Anders Being Anders, Fluff and Humor, Grey Warden Alistair (Dragon Age), Humor, M/M, Mage Hawke (Dragon Age), Mage Trevelyan (Dragon Age), One Shot, POV First Person, Purple Hawke (Dragon Age), Warden Amell (Dragon Age), Warden Carver Hawke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:53:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24252379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Garrett tells Evelyn the story of a box...a very evil box.
Relationships: Anders/Male Hawke
Kudos: 11
Collections: Anonymous





	Anders and the Box

"Can you tell me what happened...when the chantry exploded?"

Garrett opened one eye to look at the Inquisitor; it was an unusual question for anyone to ask given how most people decided on their own how the events went down. Those kinds of people often came to the conclusion that an abomination had invaded Kirkwall and murdered the Grand Cleric, doing so as an act of pure sadism.

It was one of the main reasons Garrett kept Anders far away from taverns and chantries and anywhere that could possibly house people who would be quick to imagine the truth and act upon it.

After four years, Garrett finally met someone who was unwilling to decide on their own truth.

It probably shouldn't surprise Garrett in the least that said someone happened to be the Inquisitor, since the Inquisitor was a Circle mage, after all. She may not be from the Gallows, the Circle which the events of that day affected most and whom Garrett would like to explain the truth to the most out of all options, but Ostwick's Circle was no less burdened by a ruthless Knight-Commander. How else would it earn the title of "sedate?"

Garrett didn't let his surprise show on his face. He simply watched as the Inquisitor, Evelyn Trevelyan, fidgeted a little as she sat there on a wooden chair brought over from some other part of the garden. Garrett liked Skyhold's garden more than he was willing to admit, the air was much cleaner and the people a little more pleasant. It was why he was taking probably his third nap in the gazebo.

Before he gave an answer, Garrett thought about the correct way of explaining the events. This woman was head of the increasingly powerful Inquisition, which held close ties with Orlais, home to the Grand Cathedral and many fanatical Andrastians. The last thing Garrett wanted was to provoke a bunch of people into seeking out Anders, either to arrest him or to receive his blessing; both of these outcomes were unwanted.

For a moment, Garrett paused and watched as Inquisitor - who was at the moment, simply Evelyn - became more anxious and her expression became more pleading. It was often easy to forget that despite the power she held, Evelyn was a woman of twenty years, much younger than Hawke's own sibling.

"There was a box," Garrett began and tried not to laugh at the dumbfounded look on Evelyn's face. "It belonged to one of Lowtown's merchants, I think. I assume there were fruits or stolen trousers inside."

It was safe to assume no one spoke about Kirkwall's infamous rebellion with anything but utter seriousness. Garrett wasn't like most people, however, and he spoke with mild flair even as he remained lying down, seemingly defenseless and more rugged than charming. Garrett blamed the change in his appearance on Ferelden wilderness.

"I don't know when or how, but Anders - you know Anders, right?" Evelyn nodded even as confusion overtook her expression, "He got that box and used it during the explosion."

The question was clear on Evelyn's face before she even vocalized it, "How?"

Garrett couldn't quite contain his grin when he said, "He sat on it."

For a period of about ten to twenty seconds, Evelyn's face twisted into various expressions that ranged from bewilderment to resignation. Garrett half-expected her to give up entirely and walk away, convinced the man before her had no intention of telling her the truth.

Maker knew Garrett did want to tell the truth but he was free to choose how he told it.

When Evelyn merely slumped forward, face buried in her hands like she was in some way exhausted but not willing to walk away, Garrett decided to continue.

"The box was an evil box," Evelyn let out a noise so quiet Garrett barely heard it, but she was still listening, "It kept Anders sitting on it, even as a dozen templars were fighting his friends to the death."

Evelyn raised her head at that, seemingly convinced there was a point to the story of a box that was somewhat diabolical.

"We fought hard, the entire gang did," _Even Sebastian_ , Garrett left unsaid, "but Anders didn't help. He just sat there, moping."

"Moping?"

Garrett shrugged, "Or sulking. He just sat there on that **evil** box," Evelyn smiled at the emphasis, "and ignored everyone, including me." Garrett made a show of sulking himself and Evelyn giggled.

Most people were fond of imagining Anders as some monster with horn and sharp teeth and possessing a mind of a demon. Garrett knew none of that were true. The cats Anders was fond of petting and sneaking into the estate to nurture were far more evil than Anders could ever be, Garrett's own _mabari war hound_ could confirm this.

"When I approached him, I was torn between demanding to know where Anders got that box and demanding Anders to please come help us fight the templars," Garrett refused to mention how true this was, or how those thoughts dared to cross Garrett's mind while an angry Chantry boy was right on his heels.

Instead of smiling with rapt attention, Garrett was also certain Evelyn would run for the hills and cry either on Cassandra or Leliana's lap and complain about how the Champion was insane enough to consider asking _Justice_ about the box. Justice was a bad liar, worse than Anders, but to everyone else Justice was a demon.

It was best to leave those details out.

"So I guess you could tell I asked Anders to help me deal with the templars," Evelyn nodded, "but I saw with my own eyes that Anders, who was by no means a templar fan, was tempted to sit back down and forget everything."

Evelyn became curious, "Why?"

"The box," Garrett dead panned, "It was evil. It wouldn't let Anders go. It wanted to keep hi--"

Evelyn leaned forward into her hands again and sighed. She was not taking the box seriously at all. Garrett was grateful she had listened as long as she did and she, like his brother once had, didn't call him insane for declaring inanimate objects "evil incarnate."

Garrett half-wondered what the Inquisition's advisors would think if they heard this story. He doubted they would begin a hunt for evil boxes, though this was preferable to them hunting down wanted apostates. Garrett hadn't come here intending to lead people toward Anders, who was hiding some place safe and peaceful and probably full of cats because _no one could stop the man._

If Anders wanted a cat, neither Garrett, Justice, nor the Hero of Ferelden (according to Anders) were capable of stopping him. Garrett tried not to visibly cringe at the reminder there was also no stopping Anders from giving any cat he adopted ridiculously fancy names.

Before Garrett's mind could recall all the _Sers_ and _Queens_ Anders had named, Evelyn spoke up.

"Anders doesn't sound very dangerous, does he?"

It took a moment for Garrett to realize what gave Evelyn that impression. He had just told her the story of an apostate, widely known as a monster, being defeated (or seduced) by a box. As ridiculous as it sounded, it did imply - to anyone who believed a word out of Garrett's mouth - that Anders was not a monster.

In utter agreement with Evelyn's new assessment, Garrett nodded.

"And yet," Evelyn began, still looking a bit exasperated with the mage before her, "you only told me this version of the events as revenge, right?" Garrett didn't hide the confusion from his face and Evelyn sighed. "The Inquisition promised to deal with the Grey Wardens at Adamant Fortress, right? But after we came back from Crestwood with your Warden friend, we went straight to the Winter Palace."

That's right. The Inquisitor needed to rescue Empress Celene from an assassination attempt and had decided that task was far more important than ensuring Orlais' only defense against a future Blight was rescued. Garrett had tried not to complain...much, he didn't really want to get on the Inquisition's bad side. Besides, Alistair was doing enough complaining on his own.

It took weeks for the Inquisitor and her advisors to return, mission somewhat failed with Celene dead but the throne of Orlais remained occupied, which ensured Orlais would not fall to a possible Tevinter invasion. Garrett had always wondered if this fear had been unnecessary, that the chances of Tevinter invading at the behest of an ancient magister with a god complex were actually rather small.

Then again, Garrett knew very little of the degree of insanity Tevinter hid behind closed doors. Maybe they would invade if Orlais fell, but once Garrett saw the Inquisition return, he ceased to care.

"Quite," Garrett grinned, "my own cousin had stopped the previous Blight and now no one bothers to think of future Blights as important."

Garrett shook his head. The tales of Warden Amell's efforts to save Ferelden were somewhat beyond Garrett's ability to comprehend. Anders often described broodmothers, an army of darkspawn, a civil war and drunken dwarves, and to Garrett, who couldn't quite wrap his head around the existence of the profane, let alone several other odd encounters, it all sounded nearly untrue.

When Garrett glanced toward Evelyn to check why she was suddenly so quiet, he saw her staring at him with wide eyes and an open mouth. Garrett suspected there was something on his face to cause that reaction and it certainly wasn't a blush. He wasn't Anders, who sometimes fawned over Warden Amell's level of badassery.

"You're...related," _Oh._ "To the Hero of Ferelden?"

Garrett gently nodded his head and watched as Evelyn sprinted off at high speed, knocking the chair over and nearly knocking into Morrigan along the way. The woman had the gall to glare at Garrett like it was his fault. Just because he didn't feel the overwhelming need to celebrate his blood relation to Warden Amell, didn't mean he was responsible whenever other people reacted with (mostly) shock and awe.

It was safe to assume Evelyn - no, the Inquisitor now - was going to either inform her advisors of this fact or question them of its validity. Garrett simply hoped it didn't distract her from tomorrow's important visit to the Western Approach, a date chosen by Alistair.

Thankfully, the Inquisitor wasn't likely going to bring up Anders and spark any renewed interest in the man. Garrett wanted him safe from chantry loyalists...and evil boxes, or anything inanimate object that gave Anders an irresistible urge to sit down and dissociate like fire and brimstone weren't happening around him.

Blaming the box for Anders' behavior was probably a petty thing for him to do. He might as well blame Sebastian's shiny armor or hideous buckle for Sebastian's willingness to threaten an entire city because Garrett wouldn't murder his beloved in the middle of the street.

Regardless of who was right or wrong, Garrett's focus was on tomorrow's march. He hoped everything would work out well, enough that he would find his brother Carver safe and sound and he himself could return to Anders safe and sound.

The thought of returning to a house full of cats wasn't very exciting, Garrett knew, but it was better than any other alternative. He just hoped Anders didn't find any new boxes to sit on.

Boxes are _evil_ , after all.


End file.
